Sexual victimization can leave you wondering what you really feel. Surviving the intimate invasion of a sexual assault activates your natural coping methods. As such, you may have put a lot of distance between yourself and some of your emotions. Good for you. You are functioning in a healthy manner. You may find it difficult to feel some of your emotions. This is normal. Let's put it into perspective.
Preparing for the return of your emotions, especially the tough ones is the first step. The best place to practice is in daily life, by handling the mundane issues a little differently. Re-thinking the beliefs and the habituated thinking connected with routine frustrations and anxieties, is good preparation. Discovering that you too can diffuse anxiety and frustration, anger and depression in situations that are not ultra-difficult is a good way to develop confidence and ability.
Think of it this way: If you scrape your elbow, you do not have to instruct your body to form a scab and get on with the job of healing. Your job is to keep the wound clean and to give it some air. Being traumatized by sexual victimization is much the same. You have formed a psychic covering over the wound, naturally - without instructing your mental set to do so. Your job is to keep the area clean - by talking about it when you are able and by doing some routine mental house-keeping.
Taking care of yourself in this manner will create the conditions in which your emotions (and the thinking associated with them) will surface, in their own time and according to your own inner healing schedule. Pay attention to how this works for you. You can trust your nature.
If you are a gardener, think of it this way: You have flowering plants in your garden. A bud is very small, hard, knobby thing with a flower hiding inside. Would you help the flower to bloom by prying the bud open? No, of course not. You would respect the plant's inner schedule and support this with water, light and nutrients. Ditto for you.
Have I made the point? This is another reminder of the creatively lazy approach to healing.