The Victim Mental Set / The Survivor Mental Set

Your mental set, prone to secrecy-maintaining as it may be, is not your enemy. It contains all that you need to find your way out of the secrecy thing, the self-shaming, guilt, depression or any other affliction. Obviously. You have the ability to think independently.

In recognizing that thoughts and beliefs have contributed to secrecy-maintaining, you become capable of breaking this bondage. You become capable of disputing the habituated thinking that has kept you silent. You have no control over the thinking and behaviour of people around you, nor of the legal system. You do have power over your own thinking. You have the ability to expand your understanding. You have the ability to challenge, dispute and debate - to mature your mental set.

The difference between a victim and a survivor is this: The victim has not held a single belief up for scrutiny, nor has he or she even considered challenging anything. The victim is someone who is passively at the mercy of self-defeating thinking, all of the time. The survivor has made an effort, at least once, to take action.

I doubt if you are still a victim. If you had not crossed the line into being a survivor, you wouldn't have picked up this manual. Therefore, you were a survivor before you started reading it.

Being a survivor is like learning to play the guitar. Once you learn your first chord, you are a guitar player. You can only get better from that point. You can't get worse. Being a survivor doesn't mean handling your victimization experiences or your life perfectly. It means being actively involved in your own healing, when you choose to be. As the saying goes: The first step is as important as the last in the hundred mile journey.

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